Map out your personality to change your reality
In the previous post, we mentioned that your personality is influenced by the emotions you experience daily. It is crucial to understand your personality from within, rather than relying on external perspectives, to identify areas for improvement. Society may suggest what it considers important in your life, but only you can truly determine what you need to feel fulfilled. Societal and cultural norms can cloud our judgment. Is education valuable because society emphasizes it, or is wealth the key to a good life as society measures success by material possessions? Do corporate jobs define the life we should lead? Must we marry to demonstrate success, or have children to find meaning? Recall when that desired job, the most anticipated wedding with the love yof your life, that Mercedes you longed for now parked outside, which meant your whole life at one moment turn out to be almost oblivious or worse, became your living nightmare. Why does society encourage us to pursue these goals, only for them to potentially lead to stress, illusory distractions, and health issues later in life?
It's important to note that while certain aspects of life, such as bank balance, family size, marital status, social events, academic achievements, and more, play a significant role in our lives and offer various experiences, they do not solely determine the quality of our existence. True well-being is not measured by external factors, but rather by our internal state and connection to our inner self. This concept may be unfamiliar to many, but I have personally found that meditation is key. Despite not being a regular meditator and only recently delving into this practice after being taught by experts over the past 26 and a half years, I have come to realize the profound impact of understanding and experiencing the depths of my being. The transformation and newfound feelings that meditation has brought into my life are indescribable to someone who has not embraced this practice, like I was just 7 months ago. I find immense joy in being able to enter deep meditative states for extended periods, where time seems to slow down, and my mind is free from the usual distractions of daily life. This slowing down of brain waves and the quieting of thoughts allow for a profound inner experience that is beyond words.
Why do we need to get in touch with the inner self? Why can't we just live the way we live right now and anyways most people live and die the same way? Of course we can, no one can stop us from doing that. It is just that while we stay busy picking and fermenting a few grapes from each area of life to get intoxicated from whatever little it could offer, we are missing out on what the pleasantness of an eternal intoxication, independent of external events that the internal wellbeing gives us. This doesn't mean that we should not pick grapes on the way, but we do not rely on them for eternal euphoria since we're already self sufficient. At this point, these are just add ons and we do absolutely okay without the external events that give us the slightest glimpse of elation. If there's a follow up question about why you would need elation, and you couldn't feel grief, resentment, anger, guilt, throughout your life, you could, as long as you want that state to be your way of life, as long as you're content with yourself and do not depend on others or the events, or things to get you there, go for it.
Now that we have established the importance of internal state of wellbeing, let's see how we get there. We are looking at our existing personal reality or personality to know our starting point. A journey of thousand miles begin with a single step, so to determine that single step, we should know where we stand.
The progression:
There are four stages of progression that forms our personality:
Current feeling: How you feel right at this moment? This is usually influenced by an event that happened within a few hours- in reality or in your mind.
Mood: How have you been feeling for the past few days? This is influenced by the series of events within a few weeks. This is an accumulation of current feelings on a day to day basis.
Temperament: How could you summarize your state of being for the past year or two? This is a collection of moods over a period of a year or few.
Personality: How would you describe what kind of a person you are? This is determined by the kind of temperament you've been carrying over the years.
I look at it in mapping it out in 2 ways- Top down approach, bottom up approach:
Top down approach: Where you start from an overall state of your being thus far in life, and breaking down into events, then moving into temperament, mood, and current feeling.
Bottom up approach- You recognize how you feel at the present moment, mapping out as you expand your horizon to weeks, months, years, and most of your life.
A few ground rules:
Close your eyes for just two minutes, sit comfortably, ground yourself, reach a state of non-agitation.
Take as much of your time as you require, at least 30 minutes, to dig deep within yourself. This can't be rushed, we are talking about changing your internal self that you've formed over all your life!
Avoid distractions, keep a music playing at the background if you like, choose instrumental if possible.
This needs serious introspection, retrospection, and involves serious recalling of possible traumatic events, make sure you're on your own if you do not want to be disturbed. This is a good internal decluttering and of course you do not want anyone else seeing your clutter as you remove them.
Enjoy the process, look at everything that comes up with a distance, from a sense of wonder as to how the past weighs upon you, how memories dye your current reality and future possibilities.
Consciously recognize as you go through this process, and after the declutter, anytime one of these events come up just to cloud your clarity. Recognition destroys the power of that thought or emotion.
Let's go!!
Here's the workout:
Take a large sheet of paper, or your note taking app (Word or notepad or notes on your phone) draw 2 columns memories | Possibilities. This sheet will be the reference if you get stuck on the progression mapping you'd see below.
Under memories, brainstorm all kinds of events that you could think of, size doesn't matter, whatever comes to your mind. For ease, start to write events from today, the current week, the current month, the current year, and expand your timeline. It could be as small as your mom asking you to do something without reasoning that you still wonder, to as big as the loss of dear ones. There's no weightage here. You can go as detailed or as crisp as you like. Recall we're decluttering here.
Under Possibilities, brainstorm all kinds of imaginations you have for the future or present. This doesn't just have to be goals, and dreams. Anything you fear, or worry, or anxious about. Write also the craziest possibility you ever want, and the smallest pleasures you like to experience. No limits, no restrictions, we're trying to map out your personality to alter or enhance your reality.
Take a few minutes to ground yourself, close your eyes for a few mins, sit in a relaxes posture, and ensure you're not stuck to any of those things you just wrote.
Progression Mapping: Now take another large sheet of paper, write the progression: Current feeling, or Mood, or Temperament, or Personality trait or vice versa depending upon which approach you choose from above.
Under each heading, choose where you think you're mostly into (more details below), then choose from the list of emotions or states from that category that is dominant. Write the category, the sub section of the state that you think you are mostly in. Below that, write at least 3 instances that makes you think you're in that state- Feel free to use the events from the previous chart. Below that write the triggers underlying that reaction. Categorize the trigger into one of these categories: 1. Time- An event from the past, present, or future 2. Body- Any disturbances or emotional associations with your physical or psychological structure 3. Environment: Social acceptance, other's well being- anything that's outside of your inner state. From there, rate on a scale of 1-10, these questions: - Ephemerality- - Influence of externalities- People, time, events - Sensibility- - Weightage in your internal well being- I call this the PRETER method or Progression mapping of your personality and reality. So, the sections should have something like this: Example of Progression mapping: - Progression: Current feeling. - Resonating most with: Egotistical emotions: - What exactly is egotistical about my feeling: Anger, fear. - Events that make me relate to it? Anger- I snapped at my child for a small nuisance, I walked out of coffee shop when my friend didn't disclose an event that happened a few days ago. Fear- I wasn't confident to talk about my thoughts about my role during the survey. I am not ready to call my dad due to his behavior a few months ago. - Trigger: I am not entertaining betrayal at any scale and disrespectful behavior. I don't like being unseen. I do not enjoy when people take me for granted. It's an attitude I have developed over the years, I've seen people being taken for granted and lost several things/ people. - Externality: An event from the past that shaped my attitude towards such triggers; To ensure people around me see me as an emotionally stable individual. - Rate: - Ephemerality: 7, Externality: 09, Sensibility: 04, Weightage in your internal well being: 08.
So, now you have 5 sheets filled out, one full of events from past and possibilities of the future. 4 for each progression- Feelings, mood, temperament, personality. With the first activity, you've brought out as much memories that are still lurking, there could be much more that didn't come up, but as they do during or after the process, keep this a running list and note them down. With the second section in the same activity, you've used the creative portion of your brain and jotted down as much possible actions or feelings you are looking forward to or avert. Now, most content of your conscious brain are on this large sheet of paper. Phew, what a relief! With the remaining 4 sheets- You have mapped almost entirely, the progression you've seen emotionally, seeing how the past shaped your personality and hence your thoughts and imaginations for the future. Just look at the contents of these sheets and take a moment to marvel how much your brain had to carry until that moment.
Progression stages:
Current feeling: How are you feeling at the given moment? I) Survival emotions: Lust, Pain, Victimisation, Suffering, Shame. II) Egotistical emotions: Guilt, Anger, Fear, Control, Power, Will. III) Elevated emotions: Gratitude, Appreciation, Joy, Love, Freedom, Bliss.
Mood: Recognize how you've been feeling lately, say for the last month I) Energized unpleasant: Upset, tense, distress, nervous. II) Calm unpleasant: Depressed, Lethargic, Fatigued, Sad. III) Energized pleasant: Alert, Elated, Happy, Excited. IV) Calm pleasant: Contented, Relaxed, Serene, calm.
Temperament: Recognize which category you fall into based on the past year: I) Emotionally Unstable extrovert- Choleric: Touchy, Restless, excitable, Aggressive, Changable, Impulsive, Active, Optimistic. II) Emotionally Unstable introvert- Melancholic: Moody, Anxious, Sober, Pessimistic, Rigid, Unsociable, Quiet, Reserved. III) Emotionally Stable extrovert- Sanguine: Sociable, Outgoing, Talkative, Responsive, Easygoing, Lively, Carefree, Leadership. IV) Emotionally Stable introvert- Phlegmatic: Passive, Careful, Thoughtful, Peaceful, Controlled, Reliable, Even Tempered, Calm.
Personality: I) Outgoing, Task Oriented: Dominance- Results oriented, Firm, Forceful, Strong-Willed. II) Outgoing, People Oriented: Influencer- Outgoing, Enthusiastic, Optimistic, Lively. III) Reserved, Task Oriented: Cautious- Analytical, Reserved, Systematical, Precise. IV) Reserved, People Oriented: Stabilizing- Even Tempered, Accommodating, Patient, Tactful.
Takeaways:
Knowing the why behind your personality traits: Now, under each progression, you got two important takeaways: 1. The externality that caused you to be in that state 2. The ratings for how much these externalities influence your life. The answers for the first 4 sections could be varying, but the last two points in each section should be read closely.1. Externality- Time | Body | Environment- At any given time, we think about only one of these things, and they're interconnected. So, knowing which of these have a higher weightage in framing your personality is crucial. 2. Rating: Ephemerality | External influence | Sensibility | Weightage on internal well being. If your ratings for first two is less than 5, and the ones for the last two is greater than 6, you're already getting closer to reality, and less indulged in the brainworks of meaning making and rambling.If you're unable to find the externality- if it doesn't fit into time or body or environment related associations, then the answer to this one should be NONE. With that, we've broken our external influences in determining our internal state of being.
Lessen seeping into future: If you pay attention, the last kind in each progression stage is uninfluenced by most externalities. This is where we aim to bring ourselves at. Unperturbed by anything from the past or future, untouched by social, cultural, and other influences, not being a part of mental recycling. Secondly, the progression should slowly be to the last kind in each stage. For instance, you can be at the egotistical or survival emotions, but as you progress to mood, temperament, hence personality, it's essential that the short term emotions are not pushed all the way, unchecked.
The awareness in every moment: Now that you know what influences your personality trait, even though you don't take action, the awareness of what kind of externality the current thought and temperament belong to, and the ratings on how ephemeral this thing really is, how much dependency you have on an external event or a thing or a person, how insensible this is, and how this can't influence your internal well being could create at least a small distance between yourself and that event, and that is all I am trying to create through this. To see that we are not a part of the drama, we're the observer and navigating through the challenge with as much unbiased, stable ground, and a big picture view is all that it takes to ensure that we're aligned to obtain the best possible outcome in anything we're put through.
Decluttering to see the clear picture: What we are aiming for in this work is to figure out exactly what influences the thought pattern through tracking emotional progress. We spend every moment of this life carrying this chatter around, and the associated physiological reactions that is emotions. The decluttering of these accumulated patterns that serve no purpose but creates preconceived notions, conclusions, and hence changing the course of life, restricting you from exploring possibilities. It is equivalent to clearing the dust upon the treasure that we are. We don't have to search for it, just removing those clutters that doesn't serve us touch this treasure is sufficient enough.
Good Luck :)
Sru🔥
Reference readings:
Becoming Supernatural by Dr. Joe Dispenza.
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