The transformative power of a mortal mindset

*** Trigger warning- This post talks about death and mortality ***

I lost my father in 2023 and it's almost 2 years now, however, even in the last couple weeks, something that could remind me of the vacuum I have in my life now that he's gone brings no sadness, no anger, no anxiety, but a sense of disbelief for less than a second. A shock of fleeting nature of life as to how in a blink of an eye, someone went from being one of the key people in one's life to poof, non existence one fine morning, being reduced to a small pot of ashes, then to none, just like that.

Books and movies come and go, about people's lives changing due to one's demise, for good or for the worst, but one question remains. Why does it take us by surprise? Don't we know that each of us would pass?! I may come off as morbid in this post, but my intention is to convey truths about something expansive, looming, calming, and hidden in plain sight. If this post could help at least one individual rethink and center themselves during an inevitable tough time, not necessarily the loss of a life, the purpose of the post is served.

Mortal mindset as I term it, is a way of thinking, feeling, acting, and hence living. In a way, it's a lifestyle that if applied, can free us from any restricting limitations we say to ourselves that stops us from doing what is needed. Let me explain.

We're alive for a very short period of time, when compared to time itself. The only thing we know for Sure about this life is that each and every one who's born, will pass. Longevity on the other hand isn't determined. It's like knowing the climax of the movie totally unaware how long it's gonna run. But the movie is so engaging that we forget the existence of climax and go on about the scenes and events, sometimes repeating and replaying the same events multiple times, and losing track, sometimes going in replay mode to the end of the movie. Here's the thing about that movie though. We're equipped with tools we call cognition, memory, and emotions that will skew it's context. It's almost like each of us watching the same play takeaway something entirely different from each other.

Mortal mindset is essentially centering ourselves at the knowing that there's an end at an undetermined time, which could be in the next moment, or in the next 40 years. This inherent knowledge, even if it requires a reminder, even as it seems morbid, pulls us from Tyr extremes the life events tend to take us. This centering at something as imminent as mortality keeps us from beliefs, and predeterminations, and puts us in the seeking mode. It naturally turns us from frugality. The unconscious thoughts consume us from being mentally and emotionally present. The mental replay mode on the embarrassment list or falling for the unavailable list slowly seeps into feelings, by involving the body through hormones, thereby making us fully relive those events in the present, brand new moment. This stand in no possible way allows for spending time on replaying or daydreaming. You'd not choose to review the commerce syllabus while at the imax theater. Keeping the finite nature of life in the forefront of everything that we do physically, mentally, and emotionally inevitably centers us at doing things in thoughts, actions, and emotions, not based on our whims, nor based on our likes and dislikes, but based on the actual needs- of ourselves, our family, our society, and our world. Centering at the mortality in every way snaps us back to life, to see the events for what it is, without filters of memories and emotions. There's no time for drama when we're running short of lifetime.

Stoic philosophers constantly direct towards the mortal nature, and phrases like Memento Mori depicted with a skull representing that death is inevitable and hence pushing us to do only what is absolutely essential. Stoicism stands upon the core understanding that focusing only on the things that we have control over, like our thoughts, emotions, actions, reactions, and responses would move us somewhere, and those that we can't control, should be left to nature as we work on preparing ourselves to face whatever the circumstances could throw at us. 'Being Mortal' by Atul Gawande M.D., goes extensively on geriatric and terminal illness care, that emphasizes on how Maslow's hierarchy of needs isn't the way the old and the ill see life, but puts social needs, independence and self esteem, and love and belonging before safety to keep them happy. The kind of turbulence, the shattering of facade that they face when encountered with the inevitably looming end of life, of themselves or of their loved ones, drive them to do whatever they could with any available option to just keep the life running, pain or hurt, conscious or brain dead, all because of not coming to terms with the reality, because of the attempts to defy nature and defend beyond the breaking point. This leads them to choose an unconscious, painful, scary death, rather than an aware, and a prepared one, which in several ways influence the experience of life for the departed. Not knowing when to stop is the worst mistake one can make in life and death decisions. All these because of the lack of awareness of the limited time that we're born with.

This if not understood consciously could rise skeptical questions, even find it morbid. Clearing a few basic misunderstanding when discussing death and mortality becomes essential to drive the point home.

1. Keeping death in mind doesn't make you morbid. We're not thinking about life, we're just being aware of the ultimatum so we live life thoroughly. Knowing the limited supply of life should make us cherish more as we exist, not remorse on what could happen. It makes us grateful for all that we have.

2. Accepting death doesn't mean Denying life- Acceptance of the mortal nature of everything makes us grateful for every single individual we come across, every breath we take, and every single event that happens in life. That means a total Acceptance to everything that's life and that contributes to the experiences and sustenance of life.

3. Mortal mindset doesn't prevent hurt. If at any point, this came to mind, you should know that we're not initiated into Brahmacharya. So, when dear one is hurt or diagnosed, or even the anticipation of losing them or ourselves would surely bring a wave of grief. But the knowing surely doesn't let us linger longer, because of the grounding in the ultimate reality. Snapping back to see the events as they unwind, with at least the smallest possible distance between yourself, and the mental remnants can never keep you longer in anything that keeps you wrapped in the mental diarrhea.

Here's the to do.

• Every time you catch yourself doing an action mentally, physically, or emotionally, remind yourself of your mortal nature. Sit on that thought while paying attention to the breath with eyes closed.

• Then resume that action. You'd know, like the back of your hand, without any tarot card readers or mentors telling you the right thing to do. You know whether that action that you were unconsciously doing is actually needed or if it is to just satisfy the mental craving.

• Do this a few times and once you find your center, make it a daily ritual to just sit with the eyes closed, ideally after you wake up, before you go through your phone, just feeling gratitude for every one that's alive today including yourself. Focus on the breath, and meditate on every alive part of you, focusing each area wit feelings of gratitude.

• Try to recall mortal mindset right before your temptation to snap at someone, or at any time you think you lose control over yourself.

• Repeat this consciously until it becomes your second nature to behave like a mortal!

Sru🔥