My Absolute Solitude Phenomenon |i|- Solitude with an 'i'

Sruthi Hariprasad
Nov 21
8 min read

Solitude in the Habitual context:

Solitude is a word that is commonly thrown around without the context, the intricacy, and the intensity that it can be interpreted. Solitude used nowadays usually refers to not being accompanied by another person. Solitude, however, can happen even when we're surrounded by people, even when we're actively interacting and engaging in activities and conversations. At the same time, we're not in solitude even when we're all alone. Alone, Lonely, and Solitude are synonyms, but we can interpret them in various ways to convey the meaning I am going to cover in this post. For many of us, if not most of us, Solitude is the most disliked feeling ever to be evoked. Solitude is second of the second most crucial thing we misunderstand and misinterpret, and due to which we LITERALLY miss the essence of life, the first one being the word Karma.

The Six Shades of Solitude:

Here are a few shades of Solitude in circulation:

Being unaccompanied by our close loved ones.
1+ Being unaccompanied by a friend or a family member.
2+ Not having an acquaintance around.
3+ Not being surrounded by any individual.
4+Not accompanied by any material distraction.
5+ Not accompanied by any mental distraction.

These are nothing but various levels of associations we tend to cling to, so we avoid truly seeing the reality of our own selves. For many, in a room full of friends and family, they still feel alone because of missing their very close loved one(s). Recall the number of songs, movie clips, and poems conveying this theme. The next one is not having any friends or family around, in addition to our favorite ones, following that in the list, is not having even an acquaintance around- just moving alone to a different nation or city, for example. The next level of solitude is being unaccompanied by any human being at all. Most of us consider this to be the real solitude; however, there are 2 more levels deeper we are capable of going, and that's really where either we've probably never been, or we've been but never paid attention to.

We have no individuals around, so we're alone physically, but we have our gadgets with us. This still keeps us connected to all those listed prior to this, loved ones, friends, acquaintances, or just people in general. We're now not really alone either, as we still have the influences of other individuals actively ongoing on social media, texts, and emails. If it is not connected to social media, it's then a movie, which is still not leaving you in pure solitude; you're still actively engaged, relating to your situations or individuals you know in life.

The previous discussion was around material distraction. Let's consider the last state in the list- Unaccompanied by mental distraction. When we have no Insta to scroll down, no Netflix to binge watch, no books to skim through, no real activity to engage in, NOT even music in the background, we finally find the Solitude castle's front gate. However, it is not as easy to enter. We go through the biggest obstacle of all—the mental distraction. We can be the last person alive and yet, we ARE NOT in Solitude just because of the mental chatter that just goes on. So, we may think that's the ultimate loneliness, but not really. If we're still not in absolute solitude.

The Absolute of |i|- The Absolute Solitude:

The geek that I am can't resist but take the opportunity to use the Math equivalence of Unity as the absolute of i in the imaginary. Solitude is when we're devoid of all distractions- Material and Mental. I would like to call this the Absolute Solitude, as it is absolute. There's no wiggle room when we arrive at that dimension which transcends Time and Space as we know and experience it. Also, it is represented with an absolute value of i, which is 1. i is the imaginary, and when it's in an absolute state, it becomes real. At that level of solitude, there's no Duality, but only Singularity. The Union of the Observer and the Observing, which cannot be interpreted in our intellectual minds until we come out of the Union.

So, when I talk about Solitude, I do not talk about the absence of people- loved, otherwise, or unknown, but the absence of distractions without and within- the stillness of a mountain, the surface of lake before the bird flaps its wings to catch that fish underneath, the calmness of the sunrise and sunset, the glow of the full moon, the emptiness of the sky on a no moon night, the few seconds of no breath before the next draw- That's the stillness, that's the solitude I am referring to.

Many of us, if not most of us, try to avoid such encounters to the most possible extent. Worst case, we end up with a cellphone. In extreme cases where no cellphone is around, we resort to catching some shut-eye. Sleep is one of the absolute solitary spaces we regularly dip into, in spite of who sleeps beside us. However, we never dreaded it or had any miraculous realizations because we are unconscious. The essence of being alive is the ability to be conscious of, perceive, and experience in some way, shape, or form, which is not usually what we go through during our sleep. So, the Solitude I am referring to here does not indicate sleep, as this is an unconscious vortex.

Solitude with an i:

Solitude is when we're with what we refer to as I in complete conscience. In fact, the previous sections talk about solitude in an everyday sense, and it is related to the absence of someone or something. The real Solitude is the one with an ENORMOUS presence, which we do not get to experience in our lifetimes for most of us. It could be too remote a discussion, so I am going to stick to the ways to arrive at those moments of experiencing the absence of everything that's gathered, Which ultimately means an openness that shows us 'the Sun' that has been obscured by the clouds of physiological, psychological, emotional, social, and in religious distractions. So, Solitude is pretty much the opposite of our conventional ways of associating it with an Absence. It is the means of experiencing the presence of what is imperceptible in our senses. It happens when the external and internal distractions subside. Does that mean you've got to have no one around and have no thoughts at all?

No, however, not having anyone around who can distract you actively would immensely help, especially at the beginning stages. As it becomes a routine in our everyday lives, it can be tapped into in spite of the distractions around. Now for the internal disturbances through physical inconveniences like pins and needles in legs, some little itch out of nowhere, etc, and psychological inconveniences that try to grab our attention- Like those nagging, embarrassing moments in the past or anxious or exciting future events, etc- we have mostly BEEN those inconveniences, but not the OBSERVER of those inconveniences. This is an extremely crucial distinction. The moment we associate the physiological and psychological events as an event, we, the one that's not the body and mind, can observe, there's a small, inconspicuous but definite space between the body, mind, and Oneself. So, with the internal distractions, try to be the observer, not the experience itself. Consciously create that gap until it becomes a second nature in day-to-day life, which surely happens with regular such practices.

We cannot say we have no thoughts, as that is extremely difficult with the data load that we've accumulated so far; however, we can drastically reduce the quantity that's churned in our minds as we sit for the Absolute Solitude. That can happen as we just let the thoughts pass, not getting carried away, or adding inputs, or opinions, acceptance or rejection of those flowing thoughts, do not be a judge, jury, accused, or the lawyer, just be the witness of all the mental talk or diarrhea whichever chooses to grace you.

Solitude, hence, can be with an 'i', not with the professional designations, relational associations, gender identities, nationality, and furthermore, not even the human race. It can happen with the purest form of i, without contaminations and accumulation of all that we've gathered socially, and the opinions we've drafted with the limited intellectual capabilities we possess. The i that has no Master's degree, no emotional traumas, no upcoming wedding, just present presence, and if really experienced, even for one moment, the ENTIRE slew of pleasant life experiences can't be equivalent to that moment.

Steps to get there:

This is the time for introspection. Let's ask the following questions of ourselves. Try to write the answers down:

Of the 6 shades of Solitude shared, where do you see yourself most often?
What do you feel when you get sucked into that particular shade?- Do you feel one of the Survival emotions (Pain, Lust, Guilt, Victimization, Suffering, Shame), Egotistical emotions (Fear, Anger, Control, Power, Will), or Elevated emotions (Gratitude, Appreciation, Joy, Love, Freedom, Bliss)?
What's the narration that goes into you as you go through the feelings during that period?
Do you find yourself spiralling down through a tunnel of never-ending flashes of memory or imagination?
What's your go-to method of avoidance?

With these answers, you can know exactly where you stand, and based on that, we can work out ways with the therapist and the family to help us overcome. The following steps are an extremely simple kick start to have a glimpse of a possible route to Absolute Solitude.

Now is the time for us to approach Solitude with willingness and courage. Here's how:

Eat 4 hours before your bedtime the previous night, do not consume mind-altering substances (Smoke, Alcohol, etc) the previous evening.
Wake up 1 hour earlier than your usual time.
Take a cold shower, put on comfortable clothing, and take care of your skin care routine.
Go to a spot where you can sit comfortably, without resting your spine. Sit in a comfortable posture.
Close your eyes, take 3 deep breaths, and relax yourself with each breath as much as possible.
Now, just sit, with your eyes closed, relaxed, unwavering. As your thoughts come up, comment, gossip, criticize, and lament, just try to bring your awareness back to breath.
As long as you can sustain your awareness on your breath for at least 1 minute at a stretch, try to increase the frequency of maintaining your breath awareness.
In spite of the thoughts, emotions, etc, in the background, keep the awareness of breathing at the forefront of the conscience.
As you watch your breath, you'd notice the rhythm, length, and depth of your breath. You can get to see how well or poor the quality of your breath is, meaning, if your breath is quick, short, and is laborious to slow down, you should consider doing this for a little while longer until your breath feels settled, unlabored, and feels like a breeze.
Start to notice the space between each breath, and between inhale and exhale.
Try to sit on this practice for at least 15 minutes, for as long as you'd like.
Avoid lighting incense and playing music, avoid direct breeze/air to the face, as I felt it interferes with the breathing patterns. This is to keep your senses as unengaged as possible, so there's lesser distractions- Eyes closed, early morning, so less noise, no fragrances, no music, no breeze on the skin.
Do this for at least 3 months every day, possibly twice. a day, once more before bed, 3 hours after dinner.